


A City Lost to the Sea

by RedJumper



Series: The Broken Heart [6]
Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Don't have to read series to understand, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, References to Depression, blood mention, mental illnesses don't just go away, suicide attempt references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27967148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedJumper/pseuds/RedJumper
Summary: Neil turns eighteen and doesn't know if he's glad or not.
Series: The Broken Heart [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004994
Kudos: 14





	A City Lost to the Sea

**Author's Note:**

> REFERENCES TO SUICIDE ATTEMPT AND SELF HARM THAT HAPPENED AS A RESULT.  
> Neil is still very much not dealing with issues he really should. 
> 
> Read series note (but not necessary to understand this).  
> Don't own characters.  
> Set January 2021.  
> Title from wonder years You in January

It's his eighteenth birthday and just over a year ago he took a blade to his wrist and swallowed a tub of pills. Clearly he survived and Neil still isn't quite sure how he feels about that. 

It's a Saturday and just over a week ago he had to convinced Charlie that sneaking beer into the dorms would be more trouble than it was worth. Obviously Charlie didn't care and Neil is sure he's going to end up in detention. 

It's ten am and just over hour ago it started snowing. Neil is standing at the dock and the snowflakes are melting in his hair. The cold calms him. If his lungs are working harder to gain breath it means his heart isn't beating overtime. The cold allows him to breathe. 

It's his eighteenth birthday and he's stuck at Welton. The afternoon daylight provides no cover so even though it's Saturday he won't even get a slice of cake until the meeting. 

He's eighteen now. He could go anywhere, do anything, he should be able to do that. 

Yes he still gets to do what he enjoys but he's still at welton. Yes, he can see his friends - lives with them - but he still has to phone his parents once a week.

He wants to be free. Should be free.

He could cross the border, sneak into Ontario and become the legal alcoholic teen he was destined to be. 

Or he can tell Charlie he does in fact approve the beer he stuck into school and will in fact drink it.

The unconscious stoking of the scar of his left wrist stops and he stares at it. He doesn't remember doing it. Only remembers the cold and then the hospital. 

He presses down on it. The scar is fully healed - he can't pick it. He did so many times his skin looks worse off then if he had left it alone. Using the his nail he softly scratches down the line. 

A snowdrop melts down his cheek. The water leaving a cold pathway. 

He grips his wrist and look out at the water. There's trees in the distance and a rowing boat out despite the January air. 

He's eighteen and his only current feelings are from the squeezing of his wrist and the cold surrounding him.


End file.
